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 Fun poetry and punOETRY™ from Jeff's books
 Incredible School Assemblies

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What is PunOETRY™?
PunOETRY™ is a humorous blend of puns and poetry, put together in a way that kids of all ages enjoy. It is also structured to help elementary-aged children learn about and understand word-play (perhaps for the first time) without interfering with the humor for the more pun-savy. Here are some examples from Calling All Animals:

The American Eagle
  from the book Calling All Animals

Salute the American eagle.
Though scary to quite a few folks,
He’s a very good bird, always keeping his word.
He is loyal and he never smokes.

The USA’s pride and its symbol
Majestically takes to the air.
He’s American bred from atop his bald head
To his red, white, and blue underwear.

But what if the eagle is ailing?
He no longer acts regally.
There are lots of mistakes, and each move that he makes
Is an action done ill-eaglely.                             (illegally)



for illustrator Liz Ball's hidden-picture puzzles & books go to www.

A Clothes-minded Vacuum (Closed-minded)
from the book, Calling All Animals

My mom has chores that she assigns. I do them perfectly.
But I have found that vacuuming is not a chore for me.

I used to do it all the time, until that fateful day
The vacuum cleaner acted in a most unfriendly way.

For, as I ran the vacuum, cleaning all the dust and dirt,
The hose I held escaped me and it turned and got my shirt.

The vacuum sucked the shirt down then it took my new watch, too.
And, next, it seemed quite focused on the thought of my left shoe.

Before I had the chance to run, my precious shoe was gone.
And then the vacuum snuck up on the shoe I still had on.

To save my things from leaving me, I had to jump and dance.
But, soon, the hose – it tricked me and it pulled away my pants.

Now stranded in my underwear, I started fighting back –
I couldn’t be left naked from this horrible attack.

I wrestled firmly with the hose and got it to the ground.
I clenched my teeth and grunted as I got it turned around.

What happened next was definitely something very weird:
The vacuum swallowed up itself and simply disappeared.


from the book, Calling All Animals

Where can I wear polka dots in my hair?
From the leopards, I hear that it’s here.
And where can I wear my new transparent hair?
No one’s told me, but it should be clear.

Where can I wear tiger stripes in my hair?
Well, their hair shows they’re wearing it there.
But where should I wear plain old everyday hair?
I know that there’s no place I really should care.
The dye can just die because now I’m aware
That MY hair can be worn anywhere.


A Geographic Meal

 revised from its version in There's a Hippo in My Locker

I’m Hungary right before my meal,
And boy, this hunger sure Israel,
So, time now, to get China for the table.
A Cuba sugar in my tea,
Then Turkey’s the first food for me,
And next, it’s time for Chile, if I’m able.

Oh, could Jamaica pizza please
And open a Canada peas.
Iraq of ribs should follow what you're making.
I’ll have this Danish - one more piece,
With French fries just pulled from the Greece.
This Sweden sour pork, though, has me aching.

“Come quickly, now”, said an old man,
Russia over here” and so Iran,
Just as that stuffed and bloated feeling gripped me.
The man told me he had a cure,
“Oh, Italy’s this Spain, for sure.”
I bought some of his pills but, gosh, Egypt me.

So, doubled over from the pain,
It isn’t fair that I complain;
Common sense is more of what I’m needing.
Instead of gorging like a dummy,
I could use this rule of thumby:
“You should never travel while you’re eating.”

Copyright © 2000 - 2012 by Award-Winning Author, Jeff Nathan. All rights reserved. All Trademarks property of Chucklebooks Publishing Inc.
or Meadowbrook Creations